The waiting game SUCKS

As you all know, I had an audition over the weekend, and before you get all excited-NO, I haven't heard about the part yet.

That, I believe is the hardest part of this industry. That's the thing that keeps us actors up at night for weeks on end while we audition our hearts out-The WAITING Game!

It's not hard to get the audition, its not hard to prepare, or to travel to the audition, and even though the audition is nerve wracking, and you will always be thinking "OH! I could've done that better, give me one more shot!", the thing that is the hardest part about this-is the waiting.

Right now, as we speak, I am anxiously awaiting an e-mail, a call, a text, or a facebook message from my director, letting me know whether I've gotten the role or not.

What has this done to me? What does the waiting do? I've lost sleep! I haven't slept right since the audition. I spoke to an actor on facebook last night-someone I speak to sometimes, when he's on, if I have to congratulate him for something. I don't claim to know him, or that I hang out with him, or anything like that. Its just someone I speak to ONLINE every so often. And in my weird, whacked out dream last night, I was talking to him on the PHONE as if we'd been friends for years!

As you can see, it causes strange, unpredictable dreams too, this, waiting game. It plays with you while you're awake too. Every phone call, your heart drops to your stomach. The words "You've Got Mail!" take on new meaning, is the new mail from them? Am I in? Or, am I stalking out that next audition, praying to pick up a project?

You prepare for both scenerios. On one hand, if I get the part, I know what that'll mean. It'll mean long days, longer nights, dunkin donuts coffee, barely seeing my family as I rush off to rehearsal every night, memorizing lines, blocking, costume fittings, and everything else in between that comes along with picking up a project. I prepare to clear my schedule, and know that a night off will be a blessing.

On the other hand: I don't get the part, and I start stalking Actors' Access, or Backstage, or even nj.com for the next audition. I prepare another monologue so that I'm prepared at a moment's notice, I schedule head shot time, and I know...it could be awhile before I step foot on a stage. A good, long while. And that's the part that keeps me and every actor awake at night: which hand will it be?

Only time will tell...Until then...I continue to wait....