Nodes, Nodes, and more NODES!!!

I know it's been a while since I've written, but work and rehearsal have been a bit nuts! Anyways...

On with the show!!

SO over the past few months, I've had this ever loving sore throat, and my singing has sounded flat and out of tune, which I know it normally doesnt sound like. My voice has also been raspy, quiet, and almost a little difficult to get out.

Of course, being busy, as everyone is, I kind of..brushed this problem off until it got to the point where I could no longer sing--at all. Period.

Panic set in. I knew I could sing, why wasn't my voice working. The word that kept coming back to me in my mind was-NODES. Or nodules, which are like callouses on the vocal cords from improper usage (my improproper usage was my time spent at the daycare, yelling or calling OVER my kids-not my singing).

Quickly, I took to facebook to ask people for ENT recommendations-and I got one! After doing a bit of research on him, and getting another person's opinion of him as well, I made an appointment.

I couldn't have been more excited! FINALLY! I get to find out what happened to my voice, what la la land it went to, and when I could expect its immediate return to my body so I could carry on with my projects.

The day came, and I went to see him....

The first thing he told me was that my tonsils were HUGE! They do not require surgery as of now. Then he told me that I had acid reflux (total news to me-I had no symptoms, and later found out its a different form of acid reflux and people don't know they have it as there are no symptoms), AND...CALLOUSES on my vocal cords!!!

NOOOOO!!!! Oh the absolute horror! I looked right at him, and the first question I asked was- "Will I need surgery?"

Now, refresing everyone's memory, and the way I originally heard about nodes, is singer, Adele. Due to improper singing, Adele developed nodes that had to be removed surgically and she was out of work for a few months.

THIS is all I could think of. Nodes are a singer's worst nightmare because you need to stop singing, and almost speaking altogether, for them to heal properly.

With that being said, he told me that I MAY need surgery, but that he wanted to start me on speech therapy first to see if that helped (after reading an article, I found that speech therapy DOES help them to clear up and most people dont need surgery).

He also asked me to go to a sleep clinic to see if I have sleep apnea (due to my huge tonsils), and put me on PRESCRIPTION, GENERIC Prilosec-not the OTC stuff. This stuff is stronger and doesn't mess around.

I thanked him, told him I' d see him in 2 months (he wants to see me again). I then went to my car-and CRIED. I called mom and she told me that SHE had had nodes back when I was a kid, and it stopped her from singing-yeah, that's what I needed to hear! Thanks, mom!

I went back to work in almost a zombie like state-doing what I needed to do without speaking (except to the occasional parent), and just did my job.

After gathering more information over the weekend, Im not as freaked out about it all as I was initally, but the thought of surgery still looms over my head like a dark cloud. I'm trying to stay positive though and to not think about that.

However, as a result of the nodes, I'm not allowed to speak at much higher than a stage whisper. This is making work difficult and I am relying on others to BE my voice. I'm hoping my co-workers understand-this isn't JUST about singing, this is about my real health. I can't speak, I can't sing, and it may result in surgery.

End of story.

I'll let you all know how this goes. As of right now, Im taking the prilosec, need to make a sleep clinic appointment, and am in the works of getting a speech therapist.

We'll see....